Free to Rest

Rest...I know nothing of the word.

Even in sleeping I am awake, dreaming constantly about unaccomplished endevors, unresolved conflicts, unanswered questions, and sometimes about talking cows. My subconscious is always roaring, and when I wake up, my body meets the thunder and I am pounding away again at life. Even on breaks my mind continues to analyze, scrutinize, plan from every angle for the next move.

And there is always a next move.

Silence...I know nothing of the word.

I was told to be silent when I was in trouble, so silence was always a punishment. It was used to stifle creativity, to stop productivity. I mean, consider preschool: FREEZE! Meant stop the fun you're having and start cleaning up because we're going to move onto something that is much less interesting than the playdough with which you were constructing the next architectural masterpiece...or that you were eating.

This busy bee spent her spring break hours on the phone planning, sending emails, meeting with pastors, delivering posters, buying stamps for support letters, designing publicity tools, army rolling into male bathrooms to post flyers, and all the while wondering, "What is this break of which the school districts speak?" When asked how my spring break was, my response was simply, "I spent my time doing what I don't have time to do."

And yet the Lord of the Universe, who is constantly working in the lives of His children and even those who are not consciously seeking Him, commands us to rest. Encourages us to break. To take the ultimate piece of that KitKat Bar and just be still...to just be.

To be or not to be...that is the question.

The Lord introduced (and reintroduced) some stories and verses that have a common theme for me. They are both convicting as they are inspiring. Maybe you'll find them the same.

"Thus I will establish My covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the LORD, so that you may remember and be ashamed and never open your mouth anymore because of your humiliation, when I have forgiven you for all that you have done," the Lord GOD declares." Ezekiel 16:62-63

When He (Jesus) got out of the boat, immediately a man from the tombs with an unclean spirit met Him, and he had his dwelling among the tombs. And no one was able to bind him anymore, even with a chain; because he had often been bound with shackles and chains, and the chains had been torn apart by him and the shackles broken in pieces, and no one was strong enough to subdue him. Constantly, night and day, he was screaming among the tombs and in the mountains, and gashing himself with stones...(Jesus casts out the demons)...and the people came to see what it was that had happened. They came to Jesus and observed the man who had been demon-possessed sitting down, clothed and in his right mind, the very man who had had the "legion"; and they became frightened. (Mark 5:2-5, 14-16)

These stories represent to me the amazing reign of the Prince of Peace. I understand that peace does not always manifest itself outwardly, but wow...it certainly can. The entire chapter of Ezekiel 16 personifies the way the Lord rescued and raised Israel, transforming a blood soaked, screaming, wriggling baby into a beautiful, royal, perfect woman ALL BY HIS GRACE. And then in her pride and vanity, whore herself, running wild with lust, idolatry, and human sacrifice that made Sodom look like Mayberry. But then the Lord redeems her, in justice and rebuke, but none the less redeems her. And her response: humble silence.

The demon possessed man, wild and violent, whom no person or iron shackle could contain, is brought to his knees before Jesus even says a word, and then sits silently by His feet after being delivered from the possession. Eventually he goes to preach to his village about Jesus' miracle, so he is not silent forever, but still...the manifestation of peace with God and the world.

Shalom.

I really covet that peace. I covet the ability to visually show the world that I trust in God's sovereignty in my life and plans. I'm tired of saying, "I have peace" and then running around like a mad woman. I just want to BE still AND know that He is God. I want my mind to "turn off."

I want to be free.

So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed. - John 8:36