The House of Prayer can be A House of Pain

Jeremiah 26
Cities of Judah Warned

In the beginning of the reign of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah, king of Judah, this word came from the LORD, saying, "Thus says the LORD, 'Stand in the court of the LORD'S house, and speak to all the cities of Judah who have come to worship in the LORD'S house all the words that I have commanded you to speak to them Do not omit a word! Perhaps they will listen and everyone will turn from his evil way, that I may repent of the calamity which I am planning to do to them because of the evil of their deeds."

"And you will say to them, 'Thus says the LORD, "If you will not listen to Me, to walk in My law which I have set before you, to listen to the words of My servants the prophets, whom I have been sending to you again and again, but you have not listened; then I will make this house like Shiloh, and this city I will make a curse to all the nations of the earth."'"

When I first read this passage, I naturally assumed that this prophecy was directed toward those who were not following God, in direct disobedience with His will, and not even seeking His face. And yet in the second verse it is clear that the audience of this prophecy were those in the temple, those going to worship the Lord in HIS House. And yet their response to the divine rebuke is to kill Jeremiah. Was it out of pride, of the assumption that going to the house of the Lord meant being right in the Lord’s presence? That seeking to be in His temple equaled seeking to be in the presence of God?

Do we not go to church in order to understand His ways, to learn more about Him, to be transformed in a place of teaching? And yet sometimes we do not want to accept that teaching, especially if it points out where we are wrong.

I know that I have felt this way. I want to go to church and maintain the spirit of "Hallelujah! Let's sing another song." Not, "Oh mericiful Father, I confess that I am wrong." Sometimes church is the only place that I can sit for an hour and hear from the Lord. So if I'm on the wrong path, it should not surprise me that I'll be redirected in God's house.

And this is what the Lord says in verse 3, the natural response of God’s people, to listen to His word and repent. And, the Lord gives the consequence if He is not followed. That’s love as well: it may be seen as a threat, but in the words of some screenplay writer, “It’s not a threat; it’s a promise.”

My pastor once said the most dangerous place to be is in God's presence, because we are fully exposed. I wonder if at times we want to go to God's house to compound our masquerade of self-perfection, instead of seeking God's revelation of Himself and His will in our lives.

I pray that all of us might heed the word of the Lord, and that those of us who regularly go into the House of God would enter prepared to hear whatever the Lord wants to say to us. That we listen to the Lord’s words, including His rebuke, seeking to be conformed to His will and follow His commands. When we come to the places designed for His worship, we must come with the intent for which the place was designed: HIS worship, not our own.

Lord Jesus, open my eyes today. I know that I am constantly in your presence. Let me be consciously aware of Your voice and the promptings of the Spirit.

Columbus Redeemed

For the past 4 years I had determined that Columbus, OH was settled on the mouth of hell. Driving thru the city usually resulted in some mishap, from losing luggage at the Columbus bus terminal, delayed bus trips, and my mom losing her gall bladder. Well, I am thankful and surprised to say that the Lord has redeemed Columbus, and I am the better for it.

The weekend in the "damned" city was supposed to be a simple get together with my parents. But God also allowed me to visit two of my friends the night before, and stay with my roommate's parents for the evening. Driving to all 4 corners of Columbus (literally) gave me a much better perspective of the city, other than the dismal Greyhound bus terminal. Also, the city is arranged like a spokeswheel, which makes it MUCH better to travel than Pittsburgh or Indianapolis. NO ONE WAYS!!! Hallelujah!

However, the best driving experience of the night was getting lost between 3:30-5am.

See, Google maps is awesome, except when you Google the wrong address. In my rush, I found directions to the correct street in the WRONG city (Brixton Drive in COLUMUB instead of HILLIARD). I don't realize that I have the wrong address until AFTER driving UP and DOWN the street 4 times and peering in random houses windows. Literally, peering against the windows to realize, "Nope...not this house". Keep in mind, this is at 4:20 in the morning. I'm surprised I wasn't arrested.

Unwilling to wake up my roommates parents (that's where I was trying to go), I called my friend Stephen in Chicago, who is notorious for staying up late. Well, he wasn't up at this point, but had the grace to wake himself up and be my Onstar for the evening. He guided me street by street from Columbus to Hilliard, which luckily was only 20 mins, but still....what a stellar guy! I arrived at my destination safe and sound and exhausted...it was now 5am. I told Stephen I owed him a dinner. Usually he'd deny it and say God be the glory, but this time he didn't oppose haha.

God also showed his redemptive grace in my conversation with my parents regarding my desire to go to New Zealand. What was most awesome is my dad was the one who brought it up. When mentioning my friend on Campus Crusade staff at OSU, my dad said, "Elise, if you like missions so much, maybe you should do it." This is a 180 turn around from his first comment regarding missions when I became a Christian: "Don't come back wanting to go to the Congo." Of course my mom still has hesitancies, but God gave me the words and the grace to explain my dream (see previous blog), my reasons, and my heart for the Lord's will in my life.

So, yeah. God totally rocked my weekend. Columbus is actually a beautiful city, great roadways, and how nice that everything is about 20 mins from eachother. BUT, my appreciation only goes so far...I'm still a die-hard Michigan fan. Sorry, Buckeyes.

I'll end this blog with promises the Lord reminded me of. Have a blessed day!

Thus says the Lord God of Israel, "Like these good figs, so I will regard as good teh captives of Judah, whom I have sent out of this place into the land of the Chaldeans. For I will set My eyes on them for good, and I will bring them again to this land; and i will build them up and not overthrow them, and I will plant them and not pluck them up. I will give them a heart to know Me, for I am the Lord; and they will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with their whole heart." - Jeremiah 24: 5-7

"Every day I put hope on the line. I don't know one thing about the future. I don't know what the next hour will hold. There may be sickness, accident, personal or world catastrophe. Before this day is over, I may have to deal with death, pain, loss, rejection. I don't know what the future holds for me, for those I love, for my nation, for this world. Still, despite my ignorance and surrounded by tinny optimists and cowardly pessimists, I say that God will accomplish his will, and I cheerfully persist in living in the hope that nothing will seperate me from Christ's love." - Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction

Playing Joseph: A Dream of Commitment, Stability, and Elusivity

Whenever you're called on to make up your mind,

and you're hampered by not having any,
the best way to solve the dilemma, you'll find,
is simply by spinning a penny.
No - not so that chance shall decide the affair
while you're passively standing there moping;
but the moment the penny is up in the air,
you suddenly know what you're hoping.
- Piet Hein (1905-1996)

Whether dreams are the substance of the subconscious, a prophetic message from God, or simply a wish your heart makes, I believe they contain information pertinent to our reality. Personally, I have experienced dreams that fit into all three of the categories listed above. But last night's dream was strong enough to make me seek beyond the obvious scenario and wonder, "Is there something more to this than meets the mind's eye?"

In the dream, I discover that I am married to my best guy friend. We’ll call him “Nate”. Apparently, the marriage was sudden because because I was pregnant, but the baby was either aborted or died in a miscarriage. I totally flip out. First, I am incredibly anxious that I have married this man, essentially without consent. Second, my parents have no knowledge of this marriage, which would piss my mother off. I insist that we “remarry” so that they can be there, although I’m still not thrilled with the idea. We hold the ceremony in a catholic church, which is not my church, and the rituals of the marriage are awkward and strange. To further complicate the matter, during the ceremony, I realize that the musician for the wedding is the guy that I currently have feelings for, but doesn’t acknowledge them in return. We’ll call him “Tom.” Throughout the wedding I am overwhelmed with anxiety, because I realize that being married to Nate completely ends the possibility of being with Tom.

Sounds like a typical dream soap opera…but there’s more to it.

I’ve had several dreams of these men before. “Nate” has always been the man I turn to when a crisis occurs. In my apocalyptic dreams, I’m always with him or searching for him. When we are together in Dreamland, we are happy and comfortable with each other. In reality, “Nate” is my best friend, the man I have the utmost respect and really epitomizes the stable life. In a symbolic sense, I think “Nate” represents stability and security.

My dreams about “Tom” are less stable. We are never dating, but always friends. But each dream has an element of detachment. I am either watching from a distance or silently listening to his explanation that he’s not ready for a relationship and may never be. He goes about his life, and I stand there at a distance, wondering if I’ll ever be able to tell him my true feelings. It is a typical “What if” relationship. I believe that “Nate” represents the unknown, mystery, and the elusive “what if” of life.

So why am I so bothered about this particular dream with these men? Never before have they ever been in the same dream. And even more poignant is that they appear in a dream that’s setting is the most tangible form of commitment: marriage.

I’ve been thinking all day what this dream could mean. I do not believe it is a prophetic dream of who I will marry. But there may be prophetic elements to it. Here is my currently interpretation of this dream.

It is clearly a dream of anxiety and of repressed desire. Recently, I have been anxious about my next step in life. My mother wants me to pursue grad school. I’m toying with the idea of going to New Zealand.

Now for the interpretation.

I believe that the marriage ceremony represents a form of commitment. And the fact that I did not realize I was married signifies that I feel this commitment is being made for me, that I do not have a say in my decision for the future.

I believe that “Nate” represents the stability of choosing grad school. Of all my male friends, “Nate” is the most pragmatic choice for a husband, and grad school is the logical future choice with consideration to academic and financial pursuits. However, grad school is not necessarily MY choice, but my mom’s choice, and in the dream, I am very concerned about my mom’s involvement in my “marriage” or commitment.

I believe that “Tom” is the riskier, more elusive future endeavors, namely New Zealand. My heart desire is to be with “Tom”, so maybe this dream is showing that I really want to pursue New Zealand, or whatever choice it is, even if I am unsure of its outcome.

I think “Nate” and “Tom” both being present at the wedding is a subconscious means of comparing the two opposing choices for my future. If I were to take this dream as prophetic, it could mean that my choice to go to grad school would not be my own but chosen to satisfy my mother. Grad school would determine my future, but I would always desire and yearn for the “what if” of the road less traveled.

There was no ending to this wedding. There was no “kiss the bride” or processional. Instead, the dream ended with a familiar scene. “Tom” and I are sitting at the back of my church (not the catholic church). We are friends, and he is telling me, “I’m not sure if I’m ready for a relationship, and I’m not sure when I may be.” He stands up, and begins to walk to the opposite side of the church. I remain sitting, silent, wondering if I should go after him, and if I’ll ever be able to tell him my true feelings.

Perhaps the transition from the catholic church to my church means I have returned to my choices instead of the imposed beliefs of another. Perhaps Tom’s remarks symbolize the unknown and underdeveloped plans of the future. Maybe my response is my fear of risk in pursuing what I want, despite it being my true desire.

Or maybe it is just a reoccurring dream, replaying the knowledge of unrequited love. I still haven’t figured that part out.