Choosing Life

This is not a political blog post to defend and refute pro-choice and pro-life. In fact, it is a pratical blog post that hopefully will encourage you to be pro-choice in being pro-life. Confused? Good.

This idea about choice and life are two major questions I have been asking myself. Do I have choice? Where do I find true life? What do I choose? What life am I living? On the surface, these questions seem to have simple answers. But since when do I settle for simple answers? *scoffs*

My pastor recently rebuked me (in his gentle wise fashion) that when I choose one thing, I am not choosing another. Obvious? Maybe. For example, if I choose to watch Law and Order SVU, I am NOT choosing to spend 1 hour of good conversation to encourage and be encouraged by a friend. Is one better than the other? Perhaps, but I wouldn't necessarily call either "wrong."

A more poinient example. If I choose sinful behavior (sexual, addictive, pride, anger), I am NOT choosing God, or the lifestyle that can encourage, honor, inspire others.

And something is lost there. I choose one thing, I lose out on the other. Because I made the chioce. Not that it was a punishment and God was like, "Bad Elise! Now you don't get this." No, it was my choice because I chose to.

It's like what we tell kids when they're young. "You have two options: You can choose to be angry and miss recess, or you can choose to say your sorry and play with the group."

Even better, more personal example. When I was in preschool, I had the following conversation with my teacher:

Me: Teacher, the kids won't play what I want to play.
Teacher: Well, Elise, maybe you could choose to go over and play what they're playing

Me: *sigh* I don't think I can do that. *walks to bench and sits alone for the remainder of recess*

What a lonely, miserable choice! I was so fixated on what I wanted to do that I gave up the opportunity to play with my friends. I chose to be isolated and alone, and totally missed out on 20 minutes of life.

Do I still do that?

There are choices I have made that have cost me wonderful precious moments in life. And many of those moments I was still physically present, but my heart and mind were somewhere else. When I sin and choose temporary satisfaction, my heart and mind are often haunted with that regret, and I can't fully enjoy the true joyful life that I am meant to live. When I choose life, I can fully invest myself, heart body and soul, without feeling like I've given part of me away to someone or something else that really had not intention of sticking around.

Here's an interesting point: Do we actually get to CHOOSE what we do? Is it part of some pre-organized plan? My answer...

Blah Blah Blah...

Honestly, as much as I am into theology and deep discussions, I think we can all agree that we come across many forks in the road and have to make a decision. God calls us to be active in our choices, informed in our decisions, and trusting Him and relying on the Spirit. For example.

The Lord says, "I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore CHOOSE life, that you and your offspring may live, LOVING the Lord your God, OBEYING His voice and holding fast to Him, for He is the life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them." (Deuteronomy 30:19-20)

Matthew 7:8 For everyone who ASKS receives, and the one who SEEKS finds, and to the one who KNOCKS it will be opened.

Notice God calls these people in both verses to do something. All of these are action verbs, and so we should NOT resign to thinking we have no control or responsibility in whether we can choose a life of God and purpose or choose a life of sin and futility.

So my challenge to all of us and myself is to be pro-choice. We should make the commitment to choose what is good, pure, holy, beneficial, appropriate, joyful, honorable, moral. And in those moments of complete confusion, praying for the Holy Spirit to guide us in the right direction, and if we make the wrong choice, show us and lead us out!

I challenge all of us to be pro-life. Jesus said, "The thief (the devil, false prophets) comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10) The Devil, false religions, and smooth talkers seeking self satisfaction offer nothing good. They come to steal our joy, kill our lives, and destroy our souls. Jesus says that no only did He come to earth to give us life, but to give us life ABUNDANTLY. Overflowing with joy, love, hope, faith, and FUN.

Today I felt that joy when facilitating our middle school and senior high youth group in leading worship for our church. I have not had that much fun in a LONG time, that even now, 12 hours afterwards, I am still oozing with joy and love for them and My Heavenly Father for what He did. That is abundant life!

Which would you rather have?

...therefore CHOOSE LIFE, that you and your offspring may live... He is the life and length of days...

Be pro-choice and choose true life. Surprise surprise, your life will be better for it :)

The Spider and the Fly

The Spider and the Fly
Mary Howitt

Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly,
'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there."

Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."


"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"

Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said,
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"


Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, " Dear friend what can I do,
To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for you?
I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;
I'm sure you're very welcome -- will you please to take a slice?"

"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind Sir, that cannot be,
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"


"Sweet creature!" said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise,
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!
I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf,
If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."

"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you 're pleased to say,
And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."


The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly.
Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,
"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple -- there's a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!"

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue --
Thinking only of her crested head -- poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den,
Within his little parlour -- but she ne'er came out again!


And now dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed:
Unto an evil counsellor, close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.

You're a Grown-Up...really?

As a lyricist, I really enjoy songs of social commentary. For example, I love Nickelback's "Rock Star." Superficially, it describes why "we all just wanna be big rock stars" but if you listen closer to the lyrics and how they are delivered, you start realizing its mocking the rock star/celebrity lifestyle. Wikipedia backs me up, so it must be true.

So how fitting, while trying to write a "coming of age song," that I write a commentary on the graduation from college into the real world. Many of my friends have graduated and say they now have a "grown up job" and I echo that remark. But what makes us grown up? I mean, even when we reach the "grown up age" a lot of us are still acting like kids. And I feel I should know as I work daily with both (meaning both kids and adults, not kid-like adults and adult-like kids...)

More specifically, we come to college as teens, exit as adults, and yet...why are we suddenly deemed adults? Because we have a diploma? Because we're now 22-27 (depending on when you start)? Because that's what's expected of society? Because there's nothing else to call us?

In my child language development class, we often talked about the difference between chronological age and mental age. I think many in my generation are suffering from this in a more psychological than developmental sense. I've heard it describe as extended adolescence. And I have my moments as well...quite a few actually.

So here is my social commentary song, a satire of college/adult life. I dedicate this to all my friends who have just graduated from good ole "Blooming Town."

Blooming Town

we come here in mass
top of the class
caught up in our own little worlds

we leave looking back
gather up all the slack
sent off as the new and improved generation
or at least an imitation of

a grown up now
but how'd I grow up?
sitting in the back row chairs
asleep unaware?
that I was grown up now
but how'd I grow up?
writing the final page
of the paper due yesterday?
I'm grown up now
but how'd I grow up?
out late on a Thursday night
walk in late for my 9am
How did I grow up again?

we come here to learn
with the bees and the birds
and some books on the side

and we leave here to learn
there's still so much to learn
that was never explained in the books
life is harder than it looks

I'm a grown up now
But how'd I grow up?
sitting in the back row chairs
asleep unaware?
that I'm a grown up now
but how'd I grow up?
writing that final page
of the paper due yesterday?
I'm grown up now
but how'd I grow up?
out late on a Thursday night
walk in late for my 9am
How did I grow up again?

when I was young and I saw them, i thought
surely they must be so mature
but now that I'm them, I see once again
that age doesn't dictate how you act anymore

I'm a grown up now
But how'd I grow up?
sitting in my cubicle chair
asleep unaware?
that I'm a grown up now
but how'd i grow up?
working the 9-5
somehow means i'm alive and
I'm a grown up now
but how'd I grow up?
out late on Thursday night
clock in late for the 9am
How did I grow up again?

How did I grow up again?
How did I grow up again?

Is this...Part II

Praise, O servants of the Lord,
Praise the name of the Lord!
Blessed be the name of the Lord
From this time forth and forever.
From the rising of the sun to its setting
the name of the Lord is to be praised.
The Lord is high above all nations;
His glory is above the heavens.
Who is like the Lord our God,
Who is enthroned on high,
Who humbles Himself to behold the things
that are in heaven and in the earth...

....whaaaa?

I was reading this psalm this afternoon when I woke up (yes...this afternoon...3pm to be exact). No reason in particular. This was the first page or so that I turned to in the Bible. So I started reading, and honestly, nothing was really all that surprising.

"The Lord is to be praised!" -- Check
"Blessed be His name" -- yup, I sing that song
"From the rising of the sun to its setting" -- let me finish the song, His love endures forever...

But then I read verse 6: Who humbles Himself to behold the things that are in heaven and in the earth.

He is humbled?
He humbles HIMSELF?
He does this so that He can BEHOLD non-god things?
He wants to behold ME?

I was dumbfounded. As I continued to think about this verse, I started wondering. "Is humility an act of grace? Does God show His grace by humbling Himself, something that He has absolutely every right to refuse?

Its hard for me to picture the Lord as humble, even though He demonstrated that to the fullest by sending His Son Jesus Christ as a man to die for our sins. I mean, He didn't just humble himself to behold us, Christ humbled Himself to beCOME us. That's amazing grace.

But what else is part of this grace? If humility is an act of grace, what else is involved? The Psalm gives 3 clear components to grace, or at least so it seems to me:

1. Grace is shown in humility

I think I've seen grace as an act of power. "I am the ALMIGHTY AND POWERFUL OZ!! Bow down and worship me, and I will pardon your sins. EVIL INFEDEL!!" But this psalm clearly shows that grace is an act of humility. The Lord humbles himself to be hold us, to have mercy on us, because really the minute we reject His holiness, we're good to go to the gallows. So forgiveness, grace, is given in humility, not an act that we can Lord over someone.

2. Grace restores honor

Continuing on the theme of "lording" grace over someone, Psalm 113 shows that God not only stoops down to behold us, but he lifts us back up. And not only to the place we were, but to higher places.

He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes, with the princes of His people.

God restores our honor when He delivers grace. I've found this applying significantly lately. I royally screwed up a week ago, allowing my sin to totally lead me places I never thought myself capable. And yet, 2 days later, I was being encouraged as a "worshipper of God", "a blessing," "an inspiring woman of Christ." And my reaction was, "Do you know who you're talking to?"

And God says, "Yes, they do." They are talking to a sinner who saved by grace. It is by Christ's redemptive power and the Holy Spirit's regeneration that I can be used for any good that touches the heart and soul. In my last post, I put the lyrics of my most recent song, and one line says, "How can healing words come from unholy lips?" It is only because of the Lord. I am lifted to a place of honor, not as a God but as His servant, because of God's grace. I sit among princes because of God's grace. I am honored as being used for His glory by God's grace. What amazing Grace.

3. Grace restores joy.

Verse 9 says, "He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children." As a woman in Biblical times, you did NOT want to be barren. I'm pretty sure that you were seen as useless. And what greater joy and honor than to have children, let alone male children. And so here, God shows his grace restores the joy of those who are incapable of doing it themselves.

Again, when I forgive someone, when I show grace to someone, I so often want to make it clear to them that they were wrong, I was right, and I'm doing them a favor. That doesn't really promote joy. And although Christ reminds us that it is through grace that we are saved, He always reaffirms our status with Him: that because of Him, we are holy, restored, righteous, loved, affirmed, and wanted. Because of His grace, we are beheld by Him ;) What amazing Grace.


I've always felt that the song Amazing Grace was overplayed. But I was blind, and now I see, that it was my lack of comprehension of grace that I could not appreciate the song. The apostle Paul says that the greater the sin, the greater the grace. Jesus also spoke a parable about how greater love is from those who have been forgiven much.

And so here I am: becoming more and more aware of the power, love, and humility of the Grace God offers me. He humbles Himself to behold me, restores my honor so that I am not wallowing in shame, and restores my joy by using me for His glory which I am incapable of doing on my own.


Amazing Grace.

She's Leaving Home...

She's leaving home
after living alone
for so many years...

A thunderclap has just sounded over our elementary school. *Laugh* Quite the drumroll or way of saying, "ATTENTION! Elise is not coming back...yet"

This September, I will be flying across the ocean to Matamata, New Zealand, as part of a Discipleship Training Program (DTS) with Youth With a Mission (YWAM)...try to keep up with the initials. This DTS is a program designed to train young adults in their Christian faith, immersing them in training, lectures, and studies with the pillars of the faith. This training is then followed by a three month outreach, and with my program, in Australia, New Zealand, or Fiji (whichever they place you). I'm very excited, and nervous...but mostly inquisitive, I suppose.

What's really awesome about my particultar program is that it has a "music flavour," where my extra activities will be designed around worship and the facilitation of worship for the program. Woo hoo!

Okay, so seriously now, what does a Beatle's song have to do with this (besides the obvious leaving theme?) I think the Beatle's were working on the irony that someone could be alone in a home for so many years. I've chose the opposite irony for myself: After living alone for so many years, distancing myself from people, afraid of friendships, and never becoming attached to anyone or anything, I finally found a "home" in Bloomington. And now I'm leaving. But I'm actually LEAVING...let me explain more.

The semantics of leaving vs. exiting is very important to me. For most of my life I have made exits: exit stage right, exit the building, exiting cities. There was no form of attachment, no personal facet to these departures. But now I'm leaving: I'm leaving people and places that I finally call home. And for the first time in nearly a decade, I'm actually sad...and I don't know exactly how to handle this.

I don't like showing I am sad. To me it reveals that you mean enough to me to alter the way I feel. You affect me. You have some power over me. It denotes weakness. Okay, maybe not, but for a decade it did mean that. And now, at the age of 23, after relearning how to be a friend and often failing miserably, but continuing to grow and try try again, I have to leave behind the people I have finally allowed myself to care about. And to say I care about them is hard too.

Not only that, but the people I have associated with Bloomington are becoming individuals, not longer a collective "Bloomington people". Some are leaving town all together, some to different cities and some to different countries. Others are changing their vocational identity: I have one friend who I have known as music for the past 2 years, and now he's going into optometry. Quoi?? That's not who you are...or at least who I have known you to be...

So often I have been the pioneer of adventure, and everyone maintained their normalcy. I would leave town, and return, and nothing would change. The faces are the same, the businesses are the same, and so on. But now, I go home, and I don't recognize people at my church. My friends back home in Pittsburgh are growing apart. My best friend now lives in New York. When did everyone decide to move on, too?

So I don't know how to say goodbye. I don't know how to end this chapter of my life. Part of me wants to escape and slip away without people knowing. Then I don't have to face it. The other part of me wants to be around the people I love every hour of everyday, because then I can create the allusion that they're not leaving. Neither is feasible or logical. But how do you say goodbye when you've never really said it before?

I finally have a home, and now I'm leaving. Ironic, isn't it? Am I coming back? The tenative plan is no. I'm applying to grad schools all over the country for speech pathology. Maybe I'll be called to full time international ministry. Maybe my CD will skyrocket off the charts while I'm away.

I have no way to end this blog. I told you I'm bad with goodbyes.