One of my 100 New Years Resolutions is to listen better, to listen WITHOUT figuring out how I will reply midway through the person's sentence. I have learned a lot about people today. Here are some of the conversations.
#1. I asked a elementary school kid to answer this question on a test:
Me: "Finish this sentence: I can always count on God to..."
Kid: "...forgive my sins."
Wow. I wish I always counted on that.
#2. Talking with high school students about whether technology (Facebook, Myspace, etc) has increased out ability to connect with others or decreased. The overwhelming response was decrease. Then one girl wondered if we'd ever get to the point where we didn't see anyone ever, with all things accessible by web. And one girl said, "If that happens, it will probably happen we we don't even realize. We'll wake up and realize, wow, I haven't seen you in a while and you live 4 houses down."
Made me wonder, how much of my life will change without me even noticing?
#3. Talked with some guys who spend the day walking all over town because "when you don't have a stable food source, you have to keep walking around to survive." I had never thought of that. I thought driving down the hill to Giant Eagle was a pain.
God gave you twice as many ears as you have a mouth, which means you listen twice as much as you speak. From an audiology standpoint, one would argue its so you can localize sound. But, it's humbling what I learned in a day when I stopped worrying about speaking and actually desired to listen.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Soulgasms
Okay. I'm going to ask we all be adults as we read this blog. If you're not sure you can do it, just go to the part in quotations.
From time to time, I experience something I call a "soulgasm". This usually occurs after reading a particular passage in Scripture or a book or a song, in which my soul completely releases and I feel a deep surrender to the Lord followed by intense contentment and peace.
Tonight, I had a soulgasm. It came from reading "Confessions" from St. Augustine. The specific quote was this:
"In all the things that I go over when I go to you for counsel I find no safe place for my soul except in you. There I can gather my scattered pieces, nor is any part of me lost from you."
So after reading this, all I wanted to do was lay in bed and meditate on the Lord: how he is merciful, patient, and keeps all our pieces when we return to him to be put back together. And I finally found contentment in solitude.
I found the chapter I was originially looking for after my soulgasm, which is fitting as it is about stillness. I'll share it with you, and maybe you can have a soulgasm of your own.
"Let's suppose the tumult of one's flesh were to fall silent.
that the vain illusions of earth, waters and air were to fall silent,
that the sky were to fall silent.
Let us suppose that one's very soul were to fall silent,
and by not thinking about itself,
were to transcend itself;
From time to time, I experience something I call a "soulgasm". This usually occurs after reading a particular passage in Scripture or a book or a song, in which my soul completely releases and I feel a deep surrender to the Lord followed by intense contentment and peace.
Tonight, I had a soulgasm. It came from reading "Confessions" from St. Augustine. The specific quote was this:
"In all the things that I go over when I go to you for counsel I find no safe place for my soul except in you. There I can gather my scattered pieces, nor is any part of me lost from you."
So after reading this, all I wanted to do was lay in bed and meditate on the Lord: how he is merciful, patient, and keeps all our pieces when we return to him to be put back together. And I finally found contentment in solitude.
I found the chapter I was originially looking for after my soulgasm, which is fitting as it is about stillness. I'll share it with you, and maybe you can have a soulgasm of your own.
"Let's suppose the tumult of one's flesh were to fall silent.
that the vain illusions of earth, waters and air were to fall silent,
that the sky were to fall silent.
Let us suppose that one's very soul were to fall silent,
and by not thinking about itself,
were to transcend itself;
suppose all dreams and revelatory images,
all tongues and symbols,
all that comes to be by passing away were to fall silent
- for all these things say to whoever listens,
all tongues and symbols,
all that comes to be by passing away were to fall silent
- for all these things say to whoever listens,
"We did not make ourselves (Psalm 99.3)
'our Maker is he who abides for ever' (Ps. 32.11)
'our Maker is he who abides for ever' (Ps. 32.11)
Let us suppose that they were to fall silent
having aroused us with these words to listen to their Maker;
having aroused us with these words to listen to their Maker;
suppose also that he, the Maker, were to speak
- he alone, not through things he has made but through himself,
so that we could hear his word;
not through fleshly tongue nor through angels' voice
not through the sound of the thunder (Ps. 76.18)
nor through the riddle of a parable
but suppose we could hear him whom we love for all these things,
but without all these things,
just as even now we stretched out and with souring contemplation
attained the eternal Wisdom that abides above all things.
- he alone, not through things he has made but through himself,
so that we could hear his word;
not through fleshly tongue nor through angels' voice
not through the sound of the thunder (Ps. 76.18)
nor through the riddle of a parable
but suppose we could hear him whom we love for all these things,
but without all these things,
just as even now we stretched out and with souring contemplation
attained the eternal Wisdom that abides above all things.
Let us suppose also that this state were to be prolonged
and that other, far inferior visions were removed
and this one vision were to enrapture and swallow up
and hide the beholder in itself
so that life would eternally be as this moment of understanding for which we sighed
would such a state not be what is meant by the words,
Enter into your Master's joy (Math. 25.21)?
and that other, far inferior visions were removed
and this one vision were to enrapture and swallow up
and hide the beholder in itself
so that life would eternally be as this moment of understanding for which we sighed
would such a state not be what is meant by the words,
Enter into your Master's joy (Math. 25.21)?
...the world and all its pleasures became to us at our words a thing disprized
Monday, January 04, 2010
Not Alone - New Song
Not Alone - music/lyrics by Elise Hindmarsh
I get into arguments with the voices in my head
fist fights with ghosts in the mirror, on the bed
Jesus seems outnumbered when I call to Him
with legions of demons hanging on my limbs
and I know I’m not alone
no I know I’m not alone
with all the madmen in the world
I’m not alone
the radio keeps condemning me
for the love I gave away willingly
and that love is for fools or day dream believers
but whether its lost or its found, no one understands love any clearer
so I know I’m not alone
no I know I’m not alone
with all the lovers in the world
I’m not alone
I walk into church and hear the same 4 songs
I usually sing harmony but I don’t sing along
the reverend tells us that God is love
and each person made Jesus break his body, spill his blood
So I know I’m not alone
no I know I’m not alone
with all the sinners in the world
I’m not alone so
I know I’m not alone
yes I know I’m not alone
with all you people in the world
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Twas the day before Christmas...
Twas the day before Christmas and all through my home,
I prayed that this Christmas no one feels alone.
That Jesus would be proclaimed with His love,
without conditions or favortism or "you're not good enough."
That gifts would be given straight from the heart,
no matter if bought from Goodwill or Walmart.
That Christians would be humbled by the sight of the manger,
remembering that Jesus did the same despite danger
And that I could forgive with true peace in my heart,
and today is as good as any day to start.
I prayed that this Christmas no one feels alone.
That Jesus would be proclaimed with His love,
without conditions or favortism or "you're not good enough."
That gifts would be given straight from the heart,
no matter if bought from Goodwill or Walmart.
That Christians would be humbled by the sight of the manger,
remembering that Jesus did the same despite danger
And that I could forgive with true peace in my heart,
and today is as good as any day to start.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
In response...
I feel I need to respond to my own post. I realize that we cannot make anyone change, let alone a period of time almost 60 years ago. I must start with myself. Take the plank out of my own eye. Thank you "Sing Off" for singing "Man in the Mirror."
Be the change you want to see.
Be the change you want to see.
I picked up a book last night...
I forget how much I love to read. I'm one of those people who around the holiday's realizes the wealth of knowledge at my disposal and asks for 5-1o books. I can tell you that all of those books are currently sitting on my shelf, and I have read a total of 1.
I decided to pick up #2 last night. It's called "The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid." I love kids, and I've been in a lame mood lately, so I thought this would be a perfect way to suspend my reality a bit and focus on the joy of childhood.
I didn't finish the 1st chapter, in disgust.
Let me share with you the first couple pages I read, and maybe you'll understand why I felt too sick to move forward. I'll put my thoughts in [ ].
"I can't imagine there has ever been a more gratifying time or place to be alive than America in the 1950s. No country had ever known such prosperity. [really?] When the war ended the United States had $26 billion worth of factories that hadn't existed before the war, $140 billion in savings and war bonds just waiting to be spent, no bomb damage [feel kinda bad for the devestated families of Europe and Japan], and practically no competition. All that American companies had to do was stop making tanks and battleships and start making Buicks and Frigidaires - and boy did they. [woo hoo, just what we need!]
"...almost 90% of American families had refigerators, and nearly 3/4 had washing machines, telephones, vacuum cleaners, and gas or elective stoves - things that most of the rest of the world coul still only fantasize about. [and we're proud of that?] Americans owned 80% of teh world's electrical goods, controlled 2/3 of the world's productive capacity, produced more than 40 percent of its electricity, 60 percent of its oil, and 66 percent of its steel. The 5 percent of people on Earth who were Americans had more wealth than the other 95 percent combined. [I'm starting to feel sick...]
"...We became the richest country in the world without needing the rest of the world." [..while everyone else might need our help]
"...In 1951, the average American ate 50% more than the average European." [that explains our obesity rate]
"...They'd all have a good laugh...and then sit around drinking iced tea and talking appliances for an hour or so. [No other pressing issues around the world or anything?] No human being had ever been quite this happy before."
That last line did me in. Even writing it makes me feel sick. I understand historically that we had just helped end a war and people were happy. I understand that historically we had just come out of the Great Depression. I understand that the author is just trying to convey how great a time it was to be born in the year 1951. But it was hard for me not to read this and not think "America the Beautiful" but "America the Glutton."
I don't bash my country much, if at all. We have great freedom, great resources, great healthcare (for those who can afford it), great education, and overall great people. But these words on pg. 5-6 made me think, "Wow, so often we live in this bubble, and completely forget the rest of the world is NOT like this."
Keep in mind right now I am somewhat sensitive having followed a guy my age doing a hunger strike for 9 days to raise money for deworming meds for starving children. I told another friend I feel like I experience Norman Rockwell's Christmas inside, and then I step outside and am reminded how not everywhere has a Christmas tree, lights, feasts of appetizers, and jingle bells.
Sorry if I'm sounding pessimistic. I swear I'm not bitter. I think I'm just becoming more aware.
I'll leave you today with the lyrics of a Christmas song I heard on the radio as yet another reminder from the Lord about the state of things (yes, the Lord still speaks to me via radio). God bless. Be aware. Do good.
But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmas time it's hard
But when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring
There are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
And there won't be snow in Africa
This Christmas time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
I decided to pick up #2 last night. It's called "The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid." I love kids, and I've been in a lame mood lately, so I thought this would be a perfect way to suspend my reality a bit and focus on the joy of childhood.
I didn't finish the 1st chapter, in disgust.
Let me share with you the first couple pages I read, and maybe you'll understand why I felt too sick to move forward. I'll put my thoughts in [ ].
"I can't imagine there has ever been a more gratifying time or place to be alive than America in the 1950s. No country had ever known such prosperity. [really?] When the war ended the United States had $26 billion worth of factories that hadn't existed before the war, $140 billion in savings and war bonds just waiting to be spent, no bomb damage [feel kinda bad for the devestated families of Europe and Japan], and practically no competition. All that American companies had to do was stop making tanks and battleships and start making Buicks and Frigidaires - and boy did they. [woo hoo, just what we need!]
"...almost 90% of American families had refigerators, and nearly 3/4 had washing machines, telephones, vacuum cleaners, and gas or elective stoves - things that most of the rest of the world coul still only fantasize about. [and we're proud of that?] Americans owned 80% of teh world's electrical goods, controlled 2/3 of the world's productive capacity, produced more than 40 percent of its electricity, 60 percent of its oil, and 66 percent of its steel. The 5 percent of people on Earth who were Americans had more wealth than the other 95 percent combined. [I'm starting to feel sick...]
"...We became the richest country in the world without needing the rest of the world." [..while everyone else might need our help]
"...In 1951, the average American ate 50% more than the average European." [that explains our obesity rate]
"...They'd all have a good laugh...and then sit around drinking iced tea and talking appliances for an hour or so. [No other pressing issues around the world or anything?] No human being had ever been quite this happy before."
That last line did me in. Even writing it makes me feel sick. I understand historically that we had just helped end a war and people were happy. I understand that historically we had just come out of the Great Depression. I understand that the author is just trying to convey how great a time it was to be born in the year 1951. But it was hard for me not to read this and not think "America the Beautiful" but "America the Glutton."
I don't bash my country much, if at all. We have great freedom, great resources, great healthcare (for those who can afford it), great education, and overall great people. But these words on pg. 5-6 made me think, "Wow, so often we live in this bubble, and completely forget the rest of the world is NOT like this."
Keep in mind right now I am somewhat sensitive having followed a guy my age doing a hunger strike for 9 days to raise money for deworming meds for starving children. I told another friend I feel like I experience Norman Rockwell's Christmas inside, and then I step outside and am reminded how not everywhere has a Christmas tree, lights, feasts of appetizers, and jingle bells.
Sorry if I'm sounding pessimistic. I swear I'm not bitter. I think I'm just becoming more aware.
I'll leave you today with the lyrics of a Christmas song I heard on the radio as yet another reminder from the Lord about the state of things (yes, the Lord still speaks to me via radio). God bless. Be aware. Do good.
But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmas time it's hard
But when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring
There are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
And there won't be snow in Africa
This Christmas time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
Feed the world...
Monday, December 14, 2009
Reconciliation this Christmas
And so this is Christmas, and what have you done?
As a worship leader, I have been challenged to actually read the words of th carols I incorporate into the worship list. I was listening today intently to the lyrics for "Hark the Harold Angels Sing" and heard the line, "God and sinners reconciled."
Instead of getting all philisophical, I'm going to get to the point. If I am celebrating the season in which God reconciled me to him through Jesus, I feel as though it is also necessary that I seek to reconcile myself to others.
Sometimes this is not a huge ordeal. It may have been that you've really lacked on your share of the apartment responsiblities (which I have done). It may have been that you allowed your tongue to get out of hand and spoke ill of someone that you actually care about deeply even if you disagree with them on various levels (which I have done). Maybe you forgot to put the toilet seat down (which I have not done, thank you.)
But sometimes it is a huge deal. Maybe you stopped talking to someone out of bitterness (which I have done). Maybe you stood by as someone got totally verbally annihilated and just by listening partook in their abuse (which I have done). Maybe you've done something else that doesn't need broadcasted on a blog post (which I have done).
My prayer for myself and for us during this season is that we would seek to be reconciled to eachother. Even if that means going to your closest friends and asking, "I love you, I care about you, I'd do anything for you, but what have I not done? Have I offended you in any way? What can I do to make our relationship the way it should be? How can I honor you better?" Even if you're not sure you've done anything, I assure you that even the gesture can be a breath of fresh air.
There are some reconciliations that require time, and reconciliation/forgiveness cannot be forced. But if the Holy Spirit puts someone on our hearts, and gives us peace that seeking that reconciliation is possible, I hope we follow through.
Peace on earth, good will towards men. May the Spirit prepare our way as we prepare his.
As a worship leader, I have been challenged to actually read the words of th carols I incorporate into the worship list. I was listening today intently to the lyrics for "Hark the Harold Angels Sing" and heard the line, "God and sinners reconciled."
Instead of getting all philisophical, I'm going to get to the point. If I am celebrating the season in which God reconciled me to him through Jesus, I feel as though it is also necessary that I seek to reconcile myself to others.
Sometimes this is not a huge ordeal. It may have been that you've really lacked on your share of the apartment responsiblities (which I have done). It may have been that you allowed your tongue to get out of hand and spoke ill of someone that you actually care about deeply even if you disagree with them on various levels (which I have done). Maybe you forgot to put the toilet seat down (which I have not done, thank you.)
But sometimes it is a huge deal. Maybe you stopped talking to someone out of bitterness (which I have done). Maybe you stood by as someone got totally verbally annihilated and just by listening partook in their abuse (which I have done). Maybe you've done something else that doesn't need broadcasted on a blog post (which I have done).
My prayer for myself and for us during this season is that we would seek to be reconciled to eachother. Even if that means going to your closest friends and asking, "I love you, I care about you, I'd do anything for you, but what have I not done? Have I offended you in any way? What can I do to make our relationship the way it should be? How can I honor you better?" Even if you're not sure you've done anything, I assure you that even the gesture can be a breath of fresh air.
There are some reconciliations that require time, and reconciliation/forgiveness cannot be forced. But if the Holy Spirit puts someone on our hearts, and gives us peace that seeking that reconciliation is possible, I hope we follow through.
Peace on earth, good will towards men. May the Spirit prepare our way as we prepare his.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Marriage Counseling...new song
if you're tired, so am i
i'm not sure sure if i lied
when i said i'd walk with you forever
some say the road should be easy
some say expect the pain
i'm not sure who to believe when i can't predict the weather
for better or for worse
in sickness and in health
for poorer or for richer
well i never wanted wealth
but worse seems so scary
when best is all i've known
but if it's time to grow, i want to grow
if waiting is an action word
maybe silence is the best conversation
when no words seem to help
can two different people
learn to become one
and die to but no lose themselves
for better or for worse
in sickness and in health f
or poorer or for richer
well i never wanted wealth
but worse seems so scary
when best is all i've known
but if it's time to grow, i want to grow
patience is a virtue
i always said i never had
the fact is i'm learning, and i think i've made headway
and he found me as i was
and he loves me as i am
and he wants me to never be the same
for better or for worse
in sickness and in health
for poorer or for richer
well i swear i never wanted wealth
but worse seems so scary
when best is all i've known
but if it's time to grow, i want to grow
i'm not sure sure if i lied
when i said i'd walk with you forever
some say the road should be easy
some say expect the pain
i'm not sure who to believe when i can't predict the weather
for better or for worse
in sickness and in health
for poorer or for richer
well i never wanted wealth
but worse seems so scary
when best is all i've known
but if it's time to grow, i want to grow
if waiting is an action word
maybe silence is the best conversation
when no words seem to help
can two different people
learn to become one
and die to but no lose themselves
for better or for worse
in sickness and in health f
or poorer or for richer
well i never wanted wealth
but worse seems so scary
when best is all i've known
but if it's time to grow, i want to grow
patience is a virtue
i always said i never had
the fact is i'm learning, and i think i've made headway
and he found me as i was
and he loves me as i am
and he wants me to never be the same
for better or for worse
in sickness and in health
for poorer or for richer
well i swear i never wanted wealth
but worse seems so scary
when best is all i've known
but if it's time to grow, i want to grow
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