a love i can believe

Sarah McLachlan's album "Afterglow" is almost my theme album for my relationship with Jesus Christ. I'm just infatuated with the lyrics, and they always push me towards my love for my Savior and my hope admist sinful failures and the struggle to hold fast to the cross. I was playing the album while getting ready for a wedding. At 22, with the illusion that all my friends are in relationships or engaged or married, this song rekindled the true love in my heart for Jesus Christ.

I do not regard Jesus as my lover or boyfriend (I actually despise that view), but He is the most intimate love that I have ever had. He knows the deepest parts of me, and reveals myself to me in gentleness or with the occasional slap to the face when I need it. All in all, He is the love of my life as my Lord, Savior, and Creator. It is His kindness that brings this fickle daughter of Eve back to His arms. He's the one true thing I know I can believe in.

Push ~ Sarah McLachlan

Every time I look at you
the world just melts away
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
You've seen me at my weakest
but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

[CHORUS:]
You stay the course
you hold the line
you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire,
you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe

I get mad so easy
but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do
'cause you're to good to fight about it
Even when I have to push
just to see how far you'll go
You wont stoop down to battle
but you never turn to go

[CHORUS]

Your love is just the antidote
when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide
when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown
But you pick me up and brush me off
and tell me I'm OK
Sometimes thats just what I need to get me through the day

Forgiving What I've Done

I really enjoy Linkin Park. I got turned onto them about 4 years ago, and totally fell in love with their lyrics. I think they embody the internal struggle of humanity...okay, at least my humanity. Their latest song echoed a lot of what I'm going thru right now, both in the negative and positive light. Their music video is appealing, but does not reflect how I interpret the song. But I'm sure it's worth watching anyways. Maybe one day I'll redo it. Until then, here are the lyrics........Love and peace.

What I've Done ~ Linkin Park

In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no alibi
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done

I’ve faced myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
Well I cleaned this slate
With the hands
Of uncertainty

So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done

I’ve faced myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

For what I’ve done
I’ll start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done

I’ve faced myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

What I’ve done
Forgiving what I’ve done

Adamant

Adamant
words inspired by John Donne's first Holy Sonnet

You have made me
but will Your work decay?
repair me now for now my end is coming fast
i run to death and death meets me halfway
and all my pleasures seem to be the same
as yesterday

and Your grace may help me to prevent his art
and like adamant, draw my iron heart!

i wonder if there'll be
a deeper sense of deep awakening
and if i'll ever be lost in only You
i wonder if they'll see
the deeper parts deep inside of me
and if they were to see
would they see only You?

i will not move my dim eyes away
despair behind, and death before
they cast such terror
and my feeble flesh wastes away
by the sin inside, i think i might see hell today

and Your grace may help me to prevent his art
and like adamant, draw my iron heart!

i wonder if there'll be
a deeper sense of deep awakening
and if i'll ever be lost in only You
i wonder if they'll see
the deeper parts deep inside of me
and if they were to see
would they see only You?

only You are above, and when at last you give
me the grace to look, i can rise again
but our old subtle foe tempts well and i play his game
not one hour on my own can i sustain

but Your, it helps me to prevent his art
and like adamant, draw my iron heart!

i wonder if there'll be
a deeper sense of deep awakening
and if i'll ever be lost in only You
i wonder if they'll see
the deeper parts deep inside of me
and if they were to see
would they see only You?

and i know there will be
a deeper sense of deep awakening
and someday i will be lost in only You
and one day all will see
the deepest parts deep inside of me
and then they'll finally see
that it was always You

Superficial Saint

oh Lord, i lift Your name up
although i'm down and out myself
out of control

and i will glorify You
for You're the only one who sees
the only One who knows

and i still cannot make sense of this situation
could this mess i'm in still lead to my salvation?

so discipline me, Lord
take my heart
and bring me to my knees
captivate me, Lord
set my eyes beyond what i see
consecrate me, Lord
strip away this world
i've made my friend
discipline me, Lord
the pain will lead to peace
in the end

oh Lord, the darkness claims me
and the chains i gladly wore
wear me down

oh please accept my weary plea
and accept my weary faith
tainted with doubt

for i know Your knowledge of me goes much deeper
than this superficial saint
to the sinner who needs the slate erased

...

i have yet to shed blood
up against the sin Your Son
took upon Him with the crown of thorns
although this road is filled with pain
my eyes will still remain
on Jesus Christ
the perfecter of my faith

...

Let It Burn

here i am, the scattered seed
stranded by the side of the road
suffocated, choked to death
left here for the crows

is this fire to refine
or what is waiting for me on the other side

it creeps up onto me
smoke fills my lungs
and i can hardly breathe
but all i want

is to let it burn, let it burn
let it burn me away
let it burn, let it burn
let it burn me away

dust to ashes to the ground
six feet later gone to meet my Maker
can you make me any less
than the princess in my mind

it creeps up onto me
smoke fills my lungs
and i can hardly breathe
but all i want

is to let it burn, let it burn
let it burn me away
let it burn, let it burn
let it burn me away

oh, is this fire to refine
or what is waiting on the other side

it creeps up onto me
smoke fills my lungs
and i can hardly breathe
but all i want

is to let it burn, let it burn
let it burn me away
let it burn, let it burn
let it burn me away