Chaos at the Heart of Orion

Chaos at the Heart of Orion. That is the name of this picture taken from the Spitzer/Hubble space telescope. Yet in the chaos, isn't there such beauty? I hope that the person who took this photo didn't just add the colors for effect, but that they are the true colors God ordained.

I think the Lord ordains His beauty and colors in the chaos of a woman's heart. Even if our beauty is somewhat skewed (any woman wearing mascara can attest that it's not a pretty sight), the Lord can show His beauty, His plan, His majesty.

Peace like a river attended my way this evening. I am in awe of the way the Father of the Universe can arrange the stars in the sky, the planets around the sun, and rearrange the occasional chaotic moments of my emotions and mind.

The rollercoaster highs and lows, drives and defeats, and some of these occuring in a matter of 24 hours is sometimes daunting and frustrating. But all in all, it makes me aware that admist the confusion in my heart, the Sovereign God of the Universe still has me under control as well :)

Prince of Peace, You are my God

my Savior, friend, and confidant

forgive my doubts; i will celebrate

the love You are and gave of late

the plans of mine may fall apart

postponed, deterred, or altered still

but i will rest with joy, my Lord

that never changing is Your will

forbid me, Lord, to put my hope

in plans or gifts or thoughts of mine

though an off'ring, and prayerful filled

it is You in whom i will abide

Peace, but not as of the world

yet giv'n to us upon this earth

bestowed upon the hearts of those

stayed on God and Savior's birth

Oh holy Brother, truest friend

I will forever follow Thee

lead me where Your road may end

even if to calvary

A Deeper Hook

It doesn't matter what I say

So long as I sing with inflection

That makes you feel I'll convey

Some inner truth or vast reflection

But I've said nothing so far

And I can keep it up for as long as it takes

And it don't matter who you are

If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks

Because the hook brings you back

I ain't tellin' you no lie

The hook brings you back

On that you can rely

I was described the other day by my friend Sara as being "subdued." This was a momentous occasion. I have never, in my life, been described as any characteristic in the range of"calm-collected-subdued". One might say that this was just poor insight on her part, but knowing Sara and her careful choice of words, I attribute this as testimony to the Lord's work in my life.

In the pursuit of being "subdued," I have also begun to understand the power behind words. The pastor of our church's youth group is very careful of the words he chooses, often pausing the middle of sentences as he searches his inner thesaurus for what will capture the essence of his message.

Poetry can take my breath away. The grace of Robert Frost can take to the birch tree forest or those two roads diverged in a wood.

If you think about it, how many people often say, "It's a matter of semantics?" We use words to communicate our thoughts. In my studies as a speech pathologist, language was described as a "magical phenomenon" in which one person can telepathically create their mental image in the mind of another, simply by uttering sounds together in a sequence. It's beautiful really.

I say this because I am often not careful with words, and can often reflect the song I quoted above. It is a challenge to myself: is what I am saying really meaningful, or simply the ramblings of a manic state? Does it have substance, or just sound important?

Especially when writing worship music, do my songs impact others because of the thunderous roar of the drums and intricate guitar interludes, or do the words actually carry weight in themselves? I once heard a adjudicator gave a low score to my friend's song because "la la la's" don't bring people to Christ. Harsh, but is truth to that if the message behind the songs is just, "la la la..."

The hook might bring you back.

But I pray that with the power of the Holy Spirit, I can find the wisdom and words to stay with you or whomever forever.

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Okay. Two blogs in a row. But aren't the Lord's works meritted for two blogs? I mean, John said that Jesus' entire life and miracles couldn't be contained even if one continued writing. So I suppose two blogs in a day should be fine.

Picture in your mind the lightbulb coming on and then instantly a short fuse occurs. If this were a Demotivator, like the one above, the caption might read something like this: "Even the best ideas can have short fuses. But at least the idea was there, right?"

That describes my heart's condition in the time between this blog, and the one before it. It would be useless to rehash what happened, but it is never useless to sing (or blog) the Lord's praises after adversity (which is another great Demotivator if you have time).

As the Lord has it for His children, self loathing and pessimistic "woe is me's" need not last for long when we look upon the Lord. Just as He reminded me many blogs ago, "The shadow of these things [on earth] will fade in the light that shines from You." And thankfully the light of the Lord never fades, and in Heaven we won't need the sun or the moon, but only His presence as our light!

So what light shined today?

- The access to internet which allowed me to read three articles, which reminded me that the Lord has me right where He wants me and yes, I do enjoy where I am :)

- Demotivators with their sarcastic wit. Ironic how the demotivators motivate joy in life :)

- The smiling, mischievious face of one particular kindergartner who insists on calling me "Mister H." He wants to get a rise of out me. He usually gets a smile :)

- Teacher euphemisms for problem kids. I usually refer to these spritely sized terrors as having a lot of "personality." Another teacher ingeniously coined the term "having texture". It's much better to think of it that way, and I think that it humanizes the child as well :)

These are small things, and I do not suggest that in all times of doubt, grief, or horror, a nice colloquial will bring the rainbow out in the rain. But I am thankful for the times when it does.

I believe that we will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. My hope is that we strive to keep living, even when the goodness hasn't quite arrived yet.

Last Prophet Standing

The battle of the prophets. Here it seems like these two prophets, Hananiah and Jeremiah, are in some religious form of a political debate. The first speaks of deliverance; the other predicts enslavement. The first sooths the fear of the people; the other promises the approaching nightmare. Jeremiah’s response to Hananiah’s prophecy intrigue me:

“Amen! May the Lord do so; may the Lord confirm your words which you have prophesied to bring back the vessels of the Lord’s house and all the exiles, from Babylon to this place…”

But then he puts on a clause: “May it happen; but only when it happens will we know it is true.”

It’s almost like he’s saying, “Sure, go ahead, fly off the building, and when you do, come back and tell me.”

He doesn’t out rightly put merit in Hananiah’s words.

“The prophet who prophesies of peace, when the word of the prophet comes to pass, then that prophet will be known as one whom the Lord has truly sent.”

You’ll know the true prophet and the true prophecies when they happen. Until then, just wait?

So we’re supposed to wait around to see what happens? How long? How long are we to decide which are true and which are false? This seems like a pretty horrible answer, actually. Not that I would argue with its validity, but come on!

I’m not sure how long we’re supposed to wait for the Lord’s promises. Hebrews makes it clear that many of the people only saw their promises from a distance, and ultimately the promise of Christ came many generations after the initial promises of a Messiah.

Why’d they have to wait so long? Why did the Lord lay out the foundation of Christ, only for him to come many many generations later?

I don’t know.

But in this passage, Jeremiah’s “test” proves it’s point, at least when it comes to the true or false prophet. After the debate, Jeremiah goes to Hananiah basically to say, “You’re not the true prophet; and in fact, because you’re not true and you’re leading my people astray, you’re going to die within the year.”

And he does. Within 2 months, Hananiah is dead.

I’m not sure if the people knew of this prophecy against Hananiah. It seems like Jeremiah goes to him outside of the debate and the public eye. So were the people affected by his death? Did it then register, “Oh, well, this prophet died, so his words must be dead too.”

But ultimately, the source of the prophecy ends. It was a pretty short debate in the long run of which prophet would remain standing, especially as Jeremiah had been spared his life from his previous death threats. So, in this case (unlike the last one), both prophets were threatened with death: first from the people, second from the Lord. And look who’s left standing?

In Your word, You have shown your power. I will know the true prophecies in my life when they occur, and You will make it clear. You will kills those promises that are false so that I may clearly see Your truth. And you can do this swiftly, within two months or two years, or two minutes. Father, I ask for your mercy and forgiveness for perhaps holding hope out for promises I have taken as my own. But please Father, make it clear.

Habakkuk 2:1-4
1 I will stand my watch

And set myself on the rampart,

And watch to see what He will say to me,

And what I will answer when I am corrected.

2 Then the LORD answered me and said:

“ Write the vision and make it plain on tablets,

That he may run who reads it.

3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time;

But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.

Though it tarries, wait for it;

Because it will surely come,

It will not tarry.

4 “ Behold the proud,

His soul is not upright in him;

But the just shall live by his faith.