Old habits die hard

When I was in preschool, I asked a boy if I could play with his blocks. He ignored me. Wrong answer. I bit him.

In kindergarten, I told my teacher the kids wouldn't play my game. She said I should ask to play what they were playing. Wrong answer. I sat on the bench...alone.

In elementary school, I asked my friend what key signature she used when playing the flute. She said she didn't know. Wrong answer. I yelled at her in the middle of the store.

In high school, my assistant principal told my mom that I have a way of making people feel stupid. I don't even try to, and I don't mean to, but the words I say and the way I say it suggest that I feel I am superior to them. And that I feel I'm right.

I can't say that I never feel that way.

But I have tried over the years to soften my words, to be more clear about the intent of what I say. But sometimes, that preschool brat creeps out. And I end up hurting friends, family, and losing relationships.

Sometimes I wonder if the apostle Paul struggled with this. I mean, he was a high ranking Pharisee (aka Jewish religious official with a stereotype of always being right and arrogant) for the beginning years of his life. I've heard several people say how arrogant Paul sounds in some of his letters. They don't doubt the truth of his words, but the words are phrased harshly, occasionally somewhat in a superior tone. Maybe that tone is remnant of his Pharisitic days. Forgive me for not giving you specific examples. I suppose those are up to interpretation, anyways.

People are constantly growing, and with prayer for the Holy Spirit, constantly being renewed as people. The Bible gives us plenty of verses to back this up:

Psalm 51:10
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

Colossians 3:9-10
Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

So, we are constantly being renewed, which means that the old self can rear its ugly head. But the power of the Holy Spirit suggests that this appearance of the old self appears less frequently, or at least is less victorious. And when, oh when, will this new self take complete reign? When we are finally in the full presence of Christ in Heaven.

But one thing is worth saying: this renewal is based solely of the work of the Holy Spirit, but that should also be evident in our personal will to make God honoring choices. I like what John Adams says to his daughter in the HBO TV series "John Adams": Be good, do good. Easy words, but hard to live by.

And how do we actively seek this renewal? Repentance, both of the action and the source of the action. Prayer for an action and a heart change. I guess the rest is up to God.

But God is like Allstate: we're in good hands :)