Sunday, August 20, 2006

I'm in a glass case of emotion...



It's been 1 week + 1 day since my return to Bloomington. Most of the days have been "executive" based: meeting with my research mentor, working at the elementary school, setting up the new house, ect. There have been plenty of fun moments. For instance, the first night at the house, my roomie and I invited people over to grill burgers. One night, one of the bed boards hit my roomie on the back due to coming loose after I jumped on the top bunk. And last night a bunch of guys did the limbo with their lampstand while I played the limbo theme on their mini organ. College life is fantastic. I can understand why no one wants to leave.

Beyond Purgatory. This really isn't purgatory in the sense of indecision and apathy, but I am currently in a whirlwind of all emotions. I actually miss home now. I miss my family and my wild and crazy friends with knives and capes. But I'm so excited to be in my own house and cook my own food, although that often results in me walking BACK to the grocery store when discovering I'm short baking powder. I'm anxious about what this year holds, but so at peace because I know I'm in the palm of God's hand and this is where I'm supposed to be. I'm anticipating returning to Pittsburgh for Halloween, yet long to sink into the green comfy couches watching DVR's That '70s show.

I feel loveless but so loved, content with a pioneering spirit, empowered with a mission in the wings. A superhero waiting for the bat signal.

With all of these emotions pulling from all sides, I feel stuck in the middle. My visual illustration has me standing in the middle while a thousand different strings pull from all angles at the same force, giving me no choice but to remain motionless in the center. What string will eventually overpower them all, cutting the other strings loose, and catapulting me to follow its direction?

*note: the picture above is the appeasement of my most recent craving for creation. It's a possible CD cover for the album I'm hoping to record by the end of next summer. This is change from the first picture on the blog. But again, thank you Lena, for being such a good sport and playing photographer. I promise I won't hit your back with a bed board again :)

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