Steady and Silent

The two characteristics comprising this blogs title are not those usually associated with me. As opposed to steady, I am a restless creature, spontaneous on the brink of impulsive. A week ago there was nothing on TV so I decided to drive 4 hours to Chicago. In prayer, I have to talk out loud to find some focus and cohesiveness in my thoughts. If I don't, I'll find myself praying for my friend's struggle with sin and then in deep thought about whether matzo ball soup would be as filling as sephardic lasagne. And usually, I don't even notice the switch in thought topic.

Silent...ha! I laugh at the suggestion! I am quick to point out, quick to venting, quick to exclaiming joy! My piercing scream has been shushed at football games. I've caused drummers to lose their drum sticks during a praise song after an outburst of joy. Or at least it seemed that way. My father would tell me at every evening out, "Now remember, Elise. You don't have to be the loudest one in the restaurant."

Honestly, I am deeply discouraged by these statements. Why does it seem impossible for me to be steady, aside from being numb? Why is silence so difficult for me, aside from when I have a sore throat or sleeping? Why are deep thoughts constantly being bombarded by unassociated ideas?

I am striving (and maybe that is my first mistake) to be wise. I often view calm and quiet individuals as wise. I've been reading thru Proverbs, and indeed there appears to be a correlation between wisdom and keeping the tongue in check.

When Joshua and the people of Israel approached Jericho (Joshua 6), Joshua commanted the people, "You shall not shout nor let your voice be heard nor let a word proceed out of your mouth, until the day I tell you, 'Shout!' Then you shall shout!" (vs. 10) If I understand the following events correctly, these people stayed silent for 6 days, and on the 7th day, shouted...and the walls came a tumbling down. SEVEN days of silence. What were they thinking in that time? What was the Lord's purpose behind that commandment? Would I have made it if I were one of them?

Be still and know that I am God. Maybe this is what the purpose of being steady and silent. In rest and in silence, maybe we begin thinking deeper. Maybe we become more aware of what is around us. Maybe we become more aware of Him, the Lord who brought down the walls of Jericho. I have always felt that verse meant, "Calm down and know that I am the Lord and I will take care of what will happen." And I still do believe it is that. But maybe also I will grow in understanding who He is as well.