If Today is called Today

"But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. " ~ Hebrews 3:13

The following is a conversation I had with my friend Halle, whom I met 3 years ago as counselors at Interlochen Arts Camp. God, I am so thankful for her.

Spiffy H T: sorry I'm a bum and I JUST got your message...well, maybe not a bum, but I thought I lost my phone, didn't really look for it, and then just found it in my bag
Spiffy H T: did you need to talk, though?
skitzodiva121: i'm okay now...i mean i'd love to talk :-)
skitzodiva121: but not now...i still have 30 pages to read and a response to get in, and i gotta work at....6am tomorrow
Spiffy H T: ew....wow...well, good luck with that...I'll pray for you and I'd love to talk soon and hear what's up Spiffy H T: sorry I wasn't here for ya today like you were for me the other night
Spiffy H T: and thanks again for that
Spiffy H T: things have gotten better in general
Spiffy H T: mwa
skitzodiva121: good :-)
skitzodiva121: specifically, if you could pray that the Lord would give me a humble and accurate perception of my growth when it comes to female relationships
skitzodiva121: i've felt very defeated due to an email i recieved today
Spiffy H T: ok, I will pray and you can elaborate if you choose when you don't have so much work and an early wake-up time!
skitzodiva121: well i can now
Spiffy H T: and w/o knowing anything about the situation really, I'd just like to say that you're doing pretty well in THIS female relationship
skitzodiva121: screw homework
skitzodiva121: :-)
Spiffy H T: you sure?
skitzodiva121: yeah i need a break
Spiffy H T: ok
skitzodiva121: i sent my friend an email asking if he was okay because he didn't seem like himself, but he was fine (good)...in his response he asked if i had female friends that i could talk deep spiritual things with because he got a vibe that i held onto male friends more easily than female
skitzodiva121: i know that this has been like a theme in my life, and osmething that i have beent rying to break, but the fact that he picked up on it made me think i'm not doing enough
Spiffy H T: well, what do you feel like you've been "doing" to change it?
Spiffy H T: (that you're not doing "enough"?)
Spiffy H T: (if that's true)
skitzodiva121: like...i don't have big girls group over, and i really don't feel like having big groups of girls over because it just feels so superficial
skitzodiva121: i feel like me inviting girls over is ingenuine, because i really don't want to do it, but then i feel like i have to because it's the "christian female" thing to do
Spiffy H T: what about a few or one other girl? does that still feel superficial
skitzodiva121: i look around at my other girl friends, and they have REALLY close girl friends that they do everything with, and then there's me, and all my close girlfriends are far away (like you, my friend sarah in PA, and malia whom i never see anymore)
skitzodiva121: i just feel like it's not enough to people, like i'm lacking
skitzodiva121: i don't know if i have an accurate perspective, or if the one i have now is just a way to avoid stepping deep into girl-ness
skitzodiva121: i mean, i feel so comfortable coming to you with questions and talking about God's lessons, but i wonder if that would c hange if you were closer
Spiffy H T: hm, that's an interesting question
skitzodiva121: it seems like i'm just used to having distant females as best friends, so that's what i do
Spiffy H T: what do you think about the question I posed above about having a few or one friend over?
skitzodiva121: i have done that
skitzodiva121: i'm not opposed to that
Spiffy H T: and are those times ever "deep" times?
skitzodiva121: i don't know if his words were a reminder from God to keep growing in this area or a criticism that i'm not growing enough
skitzodiva121: they could be deeper
skitzodiva121: they never seem to reach the theological discussions that i thrive on with guys or that you and i used to have
Spiffy H T: well, even if he meant them as a criticism, I feel like your response can only be to grow more...b/c responding to criticism by just feeling bad about what you're not won't help you any
skitzodiva121: yeah
Spiffy H T: but I know what you mean about wanting to know his motivation
Spiffy H T: esp. if he's someone whose opinions you value
skitzodiva121: i do
skitzodiva121: he said that it was out of love, and he's been very encouraging to me
Spiffy H T: relationships are hard b/c on one hand, yes, we can work to cultivate them....but on the other, they just tend to develop
Spiffy H T: so it's sorta hard to know what you can do to pursue those
skitzodiva121: and i've asked him to encourage me in my pursuit to mature as a woman of Christ
skitzodiva121: (that was because he did something that really shut me down in that pursuit and i had to admonish him on it)
Spiffy H T: one thing I've noticed about Christian guys (the winners) is that they seem to thrive on challenge and like to challenge others...which sometimes women (in general) don't feel as comfortable doing
Spiffy H T: maybe you're the kind of person who really needs that in relationships...and so guys who provide it are more attractive than waiting around to try to find girls who do
skitzodiva121: yeah...that's true
Spiffy H T: but then the whole fact that you're a girl and need other women to share the deeper stuff with (that wouldn't be appropriate in a guy-girl friendship) makes it hard
skitzodiva121: i guess that's why when i do talk to girls with deep stuff, it's all on relationships
skitzodiva121: because i've found guys who will push me on the other stuff
Spiffy H T: makes sense
skitzodiva121: so the girls hear all the boy stuff, and they get annoyed because that's all they hear, but it's because all the other deep stuff is satisifed in my relationships with my brothers
skitzodiva121: maybe is hould join a nunnery for a year...then i'd have no choice
Spiffy H T: haha...not a good plan (-; "These abbey walls were not built to shut out your problems. You have to face them." but I think one way of looking at it that may help is that by seeking out girls who can challenge you in a similar way to the guys will actually challenge those girls to step up and fill that role
Spiffy H T: sorry...that made a lot more sense in my head
skitzodiva121: haha
Spiffy H T: did you follow it at all?
skitzodiva121: i think so
Spiffy H T: (i.e. it'll be good for them, too)
skitzodiva121: haha
Spiffy H T: but I DO think you need it
Spiffy H T: not being around you, I can't really know more than you're telling me
Spiffy H T: I don't see how you interact with the women in your life
skitzodiva121: it's been a lot better than the past...like a lto better
Spiffy H T: but I do think that if all I ever talked about with someone were relationships, I'd get a bit tired, too
skitzodiva121: i'm just so used to guys leading me spiritually and me growing from that that i dont' want to risk the let down that i experienced in the past
Spiffy H T: and wonder if there was more to the person
Spiffy H T: (which there definitely is with you)
Spiffy H T: maybe even if you just start with a relatively safe thing like sharing something cool God has taught you in the Word with another woman and asking her the same question, it might get things rolling
Spiffy H T: I, for one, love hearing your Scriptural comments
Spiffy H T: like the loaves story you shared the other night
Spiffy H T: I never thought of it from the standpoint of God more than satisfying our hunger
Spiffy H T: with something we never thought could satisfy at all
skitzodiva121: hmm
skitzodiva121: hahah
skitzodiva121: you're funny...and God is funny in the way he just used you
Spiffy H T: ??
skitzodiva121: maybe women are my next meal of loaves
skitzodiva121: relationshps with women i mean
Spiffy H T: perhaps...but don't become a vampire on me now
skitzodiva121: LOL
Spiffy H T: (sorry, just read Dracula for my Gothic Lit class)
Spiffy H T: it's funny when your own words to someone else come back to teach you
skitzodiva121: what i mean is, maybe i doubt that relationships with women can be as satisfying as spiritual relationships wiht men, but i just gotta take the risk with one or two and he'll multiply the results
Spiffy H T: I totally agree!
Spiffy H T: give God's meal plan a try
skitzodiva121: hahhaa
skitzodiva121: you know our conversation is going on my blog
Spiffy H T: haha...oh ok
skitzodiva121: people should see what Christian fellowship is all about
skitzodiva121: and plus then i can be reminded to
skitzodiva121: *too
Spiffy H T: now you've got me thinking about what things I think won't satisfy in my life
skitzodiva121: so now is your time to say something really spiritual for the webworld to see
Spiffy H T: no noskitzodiva121: haha, just kidding...blogs are creepy sometimes
skitzodiva121: yeah no doubt
Spiffy H T: although I do like reading your comments
Spiffy H T: blood stains, huh?
skitzodiva121: oh yeah
Spiffy H T: didn't realize that
skitzodiva121: if you ever watch law and order, they always catch the killer due to the florescent light they shine on the room and see the blood stains
skitzodiva121: its freaking awesome
Spiffy H T: blood is also cool in Leviticus 17:11
skitzodiva121: LOL
skitzodiva121: why is it cool?
Spiffy H T: I'm reading Leviticus now...although I'm really only in chapter 4
Spiffy H T: the verse is "For the life of a creature is in the blood, and I have given it to you to make atonement for yourselves on the altar; it is the blood that makes atonement for one's life"...I just found it incredible that way back in the Law, blood was THE thing that brought redemption
Spiffy H T: and another side blood-y note
Spiffy H T: I think it's pretty ironic that in Matt. 27:25, after Pilate washes his hands and says the death of Christ isn't his responsibility
Spiffy H T: the people say "Let his blood be on us and on our children."
skitzodiva121: woah
skitzodiva121: and Jesus was thinking, THAT'S THE POINT
Spiffy H T: they, of course, didn't mean it in the way we think about it, but YEP!
Spiffy H T: hehe Scripture
skitzodiva121: i lvoe how the Lord connects teh Old to the New Testament
Spiffy H T: God's so crafty
skitzodiva121: yeah ;-)
Spiffy H T: (I chuckle to myself)
skitzodiva121: heheh
skitzodiva121: well, babe, i should probably get going
skitzodiva121: those 30 pages and response are a-callin'
Spiffy H T: me too...thanks for continuing to be amazing
skitzodiva121: thanks for talkign tome so late
Spiffy H T: and let me know how loving those women goes
skitzodiva121: i will
Spiffy H T: cuz that's what you'll be doing
Spiffy H T: mwa
skitzodiva121: muah!