Butterflies are Free

I got married last night. Or at least it was an attempted marriage. Let me explain.

Do you ever have those dreams that are so realistic in every sense? What you're looking at, what you're feeling, the inability to realize that this is just a dream? The sequencing of events might get hazy, but this is generally what happened.

Last night I dreamt that I was getting married to someone I had never met. I think his name was Stephen. The premise was that this guy had called my family and said that he wanted to marry me, and for some reason they said yes. And so did I. I was nervous and all, but I figured I knew the guy and that we would be great together. Naive and benefit of the doubt: story of my life.

It's a Weds, because I have off work and my supervisor had said that she would try to make it. I'm in the mirror putting on my makeup. I can't get the right shade of eyeshadow, and it turns into like metalic orange..not my color in life or in the dream world. We get to the rec hall (not a church, which immediately makes me nervous). And I'm place to stand where the groom usual stands. I'm waiting to see the groom. I see my supervisor come in, and smile, and then the ceremony starts. The groomsmen start coming in, and the first one comes and stands next to me. I'm assuming this is the groom. And the first thing that occurs to me is that I have no idea who this guy is. And he's not very attractive. Or at least I'm not attracted to him.

Now this gets interesting. The preacher or speaker guy who is running the ceremony starts talking about us. You know, the history and stuff. Turns out, the groom (I still think his name was Stephen) has been in love with my TWIN SISTER, and that she had turned him down and he then called me. Like, my twin sister and this guy had gone to church but she never responded to his initiations. I realize that this was a huge mistake. I know that when I get married, I want it to be for life, and I can't help but see a huge DIVORCE sign coming my way 10 years down the road. I think, "Maybe I can make this work" but I know in my gut I can't.

I imagine the words "If anyone has any reason as to why this marriage should not exist.." and I want to scream, I do!! But how can you cancel a wedding ON the day of the wedding?? Especially when all of this has been paid for? I start panicking. I start crying over and over to Stephen, "I don't remember any of this (referring to the stories about him and my twin, as if I was supposed to be in her shoes)" and he starts to get nervous. I want to escape, to run screaming into the night, but I couldn't because you can't go screaming into the night at 10 in the morning...This is when I realize that I'm dreaming, and I'm not really getting married, so ending the wedding ceremony will have no moral consequences. I decide the best way to ditch this wedding is to come out of thesbian retirement and faint. So, I faint. I pass out totally. Everyone comes around and tries to revive me, and I just faint again. They take me back to my dresing room. I'm drop the act and start crying. I tell my parents I can't do it, that he's in love with my twin who I didn't even know I had, and this was all wrong. What are we going to do with the food, my dress, all these people...

Next day I'm back at work, kind of like a consultant at a movie theme park, where the ride "Pirates of the Carribean 2" is in great peril because the director decided not to show up. So we call in another director (named Eric?) and I'm sent to meet him. Now you know how a dream can put anyone you know in a role that's not really them, but you know it's SUPPOSED to be really them even though they're "cast" in a differnt name? So is the case with "Eric". I see him walking along the boardwalk, being all high and mighty, and I gesture to him to hurry up. He starts being all suave and too cool (as he is in real life by the way), and when we meet, he starts talking all "I'll hurry up when I'm damn ready." I don't respond, and instead, I start kissing him. I guess it was more a liberating gesture to evoke a huge shock value. If this were a movie, stringed music would have been playing. He doesn't kiss back right away, knowing that I was supposedly married now, and just stands there, trying not to respond. Then he makes some comment (like between lip contact, which I think is hott), suggesting his strength to resist is weakening. After about 10 secs, he drops his directing material to put his arms around me, I pull the slightest bit back...knowing that I was officially single..and victorious.

Immediately, I wake up and my alarm goes off.

Can someone please interpret.