rebel with a tiny itsy bitsy cause

It sickens me to see how rebellious my nature is.

Why is it that I want what I can't have? Why is it that I see the purpose of lines is to be crossed? And rules are meant to be broken? As if everything in life was a personal challenge for me to say, YES I CAN. Our society told me growing up, "You can do anything."

They created a monster.

When I turned 21, I was super excited because alcohol was no longer going to be a temptation for me. I've struggled with this since freshman year of college, when I learned that I actually liked the taste of it. It was mostly a winning battle, a few surrenders here and there to wine or vodka that I'm not proud of, but all of that disappated on May 27th, 2006. Which is a good thing.

But the arrival of my 21st has now created a new problem. The pseudo-adulthood of being a homebound college student. I can do everything an adult can do (or at least have the option to) and yet I must abide by the rules of my parents. Suddenly, if ANY boundary seems to threaten my "FREEDOM", I do everything I can possibly do to assert my "rights", resorting to the antics of an intellectual two year old. This obvious fairs very well for my family, and only 24 hours into being home, we were fighting.

*sigh* College is such a tease. You're away for a year, making your own decisions, mistakes, learning, and then you're back to living with a curfew...even if it is 4am.

And the funny thing is, in my rebellious state, I see how ridiculous this is. My dad doesn't want me sleeping at a guy's house, even if he's known them for 4 years. Big surprise. They want me home before I start to fall asleep at the wheel. That's nice of them. They want to make sure I'm safe and sound instead of fearing for a call from the mortuary. Naturally. And yet I get mad, pout, and say how "I'm an adult. This isn't fair!!" And go to my room for a nap.

Which actually helps.

Living in community is hard. Really hard.

But its good when that community loves you enough to fight with you. And in the end you can kiss and make up. My mom just gave me a goodnight kiss :)

I can live in this kind of community.

Applicable Commandment: Honor your mother and father that it may go well with you.
Applicable Song: Halfway Home by Jason Mraz. Good stuff.