When the stars go blue

playground school bell rings again
rain clouds come to play again
has no one told you she's not breathing?
hello i'm your mind giving you someone to talk to...hello
if i smile and don't believe
soon i know i'll wake from this dream
don't try to fix me i'm not broken
hello i'm the lie living for you so you can hide...don't cry
suddenly i know i'm not sleeping
hello i'm still here all that's left of yesterday
~Hello, Evanescence

Don't you love it when songs fit our circumstances in the most magnificent ways?

I threw myself a curveball and, naturally, got slammed in the face. 2 years of victory with 2 nights of complete idiocy. Not that it wasn't enjoyed at the time, but for heaven's sake, we are too easily pleased.

There's a lot going on right now. Family issues, personal issues, turning 21, no air conditioning. All of which I am probably not dealing with in the healthiest ways. It's somewhat frustrating when you see the lifestyle of friends and they don't seemed to be bothered by excessive drinking, one or two night stands, drugs, poor decisions in general. Those examples were very generic compared to my usual rants, but I'm sure most of us know someone who indulges in one or 3 of these things. And they're not bothered by it. Or at least are very good actors. Then, you place me in one of those situations, and I freak out: convulsions, mind lapse, near psychotic episode. So the question is, would I prefer to basically not have a conscious and be able to do these things easily and be in a sense, comfortably numb? Or, to not have the desire at all and be freed from the 'darker side of the moon'?

Weak references I know, but I'm so in the mood to listen to Pink Floyd right now.

Saw Xmen3. People really take movies too seriously, but it's easy to do when you identify with a character. Take Jean Grey for example. Too powerful for her own good, Dr. Xavier puts up blocks in her mind so she doesn't destroy the whole world (or herself) and the result is the development of two personalities: Psychobitch Pheonix and Timid Jean. When Psychobitch Pheonix is unleashed, all hell breaks loose. And when Timid Jean realizes what her lovely lustful doubleganger is doing, she asks Wolverine to kill her before she does any more damage.



Where is my wolverine?